I’m slowly leaving my old self.
I am leaving my old clothes and skin.
And evolving into a new bright, real person.
The old habits that weren’t even truly mine.
They were just automatically learned and adopted as I didn’t know anything else.
I thought I was successful and independent, but in reality, I was only performing a role that society assigned me to.
I wasn’t successful cause I was myself.
I was successful cause I was playing by someone else’s rules.
Somewhat meaningless and empty role.
Yet I’m thankful for all that cause that’s what brought me here.
To the point that’s almost zero.
At the age of 32, I’m starting to learn to be myself and I’m so freaking happy about it.
It’s like you’re finally born.
You have no idea what’s going on, how to move on and how to do things.
But you are pretty sure that this time it’s you for real.
And you will figure it out by doing.
The difference between playing someone else’s role and being you is like day and night.
In the daytime, you might not be sure which way to go, but you certainly see the direction. You might be very well adjusted to get around at night. But it’s all not for real. You don’t see where to go. You just learned it at some point and memorized it so well that you think you know.
And here lies the danger. You might be so comfortable in your camouflage that you might think that this is you.
But it isn’t.
It’s getting harder and harder to stay in the darkness.
The daylight is here.
And we better open our eyes, undress from the false illusion and see ourselves for what we are.
And start from the beginning.
This time for real.
Cover photos by Rachel Ellis and Joshua Sortino, second and third photos by Thought Catalog, fourth photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash.